Nate, Kimberlie, Boston, and Lily: Look, customer support person, we're not actually friends...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Look, customer support person, we're not actually friends...

Perhaps I'm a terrible person - it's definitely a possibility. But I really hate it when I call customer support and they can't just talk like a normal person - they have to act like we're best friends, like I love hearing my first name in every sentence, and like I just can't wait to hear their annoying up-sell lines.

Here was my conversation with the Verizon lady this morning:

Lisa: "Hello, this is Lisa with Verizon Wireless, I'm so glad you called. We have plans starting at just $19.95 a month! How can I help you today?"
Me: "My phone died and my new one hasn't been delivered yet. Can you tell me when it will be?"
Lisa: "(Gasp!) Oh no! That's terrible! I can certainly get that information for you! What's your name, social security number, wireless number, and mother's maiden name?"
Me: (Giving her the information, thinking how exhausting it would be to try to maintain that level of fake enthusiasm for the whole day at your job. Also annoyed because I already gave all this information to Darryl, who was the first person I talked to when I called.)
Lisa: "Well Kimberlie, it looks like your phone will be delivered by FedEx sometime today before 7 pm. You'll need to make sure someone is at the house to sign for it, ok Kimberlie?"
Me: "I have to stay home until 7 pm or they won't leave my phone?"
Lisa: "Unfortunately, Kimberlie, you will. But the good news is that it's getting delivered today!"
Me: "Ok, thanks."
Lisa: "Is there anything else I can do for you today, Kimberlie?"
Me: "Nope, thanks. Bye."
Lisa: "Ok, well thanks for calling Verizon Wireless today, Kimberlie! We're your..."(click)

Yes, I hung up on her, mid-spiel. Yes, I'm a very easily annoyed person. And yes, I will be at home every moment of the day, possibly until 7 pm, so that I can sign for my phone.

3 comments:

Ashley said...: Brett always tells me to hang up. I might be more mean because I let them go through every spiel they have and shoot them down on every one.; July 13, 2011 at 8:57 AM
Becca Lund said...: Nothing puts me in a worse mood than dealing with c.s.
It soooo bugs me that every time I call I have to give my account information like 8 differnt times throughout the call. Why do they ask me to type it in at the beginning if they're just going to ask for it again later? And now I'm all riled up.; July 13, 2011 at 9:46 AM
Cal and Whit said...: Ha! I loved this post! I totally agree!

I am so glad you sent me a link to your blog so that I could see how darling your little kids are and see what you guys are up to! Lily is so sweet and adorable and I loved reading those quotes from Boston. They totally cracked up, he is hilarious!

Thanks again and I'm excited to keep checking in on your little family!; July 16, 2011 at 8:00 AM

Manly Quotes

2/12/15:
Me: (Grabbing Boston's face and inspecting it) "What's that by your chin? Is that... it is! You have a zit!"

Boston: "What's a zit?"

Me: "It's something teenagers get."

Boston: "Really!?... Cool! I have a zit!"

3/13/14:

Boston: "Mom, you know that song that says, 'Keep the commandments, unless there is safety, unless there is peace'? I thought we were ALWAYS supposed to keep the commandments..."

3/02/14:

Boston came to visit the new baby (who was wearing little mitts so he didn't scratch himself) at the hospital, and apparently wondered what sort of creature I'd given birth to. When they got home, he started making strange faces.

Grandma Lolli: "What are you doing?"

Boston: "Why does Coop make faces like this? And will he scratch me with his claws?"

10/24/13:
Me: "Guess what Boston! Tomorrow we go to the doctor to find out what kind of baby I'm having."

Boston: "... like, if it's going to have black skin, or white skin...?"

Me: "Boy or girl. It will probably have white skin."

8/31/13:
Boston: "I'm glad I don't have school today... I'm tired-er than 300 babies in a belly!"

8/13/13:
Me: "I TOLD you the apples were right here. I'll give you a noogie for making me come get it for you."
Boston: "Well, I'll fart for that noogie... And NOT say excuse me!"

5/17/13:
Me: "Boston, it's time to turn off the iPad and come eat breakfast."

Boston: (eyes never leaving the screen) "... I'm fasting today."

5/1/13:
Boston: "Mom, will you peel this orange for me?"
Me: "Sure."
Boston: "Thanks, Mom. You're the best... You're the juiciest mom ever. You're really squishy."

I think I just got the compliments that were meant for the orange.

3/12/13: Grandma Laurie was putting Boston to bed, when he started messing with his fingers. Grandma grabbed his fingers, kissed them, and said, "What are you doing? Sign language?"

Boston: "No, I have boogies. I'm rolling them."

11/6/12:
Me: "This is it, buddy. Today is the day we vote."

Boston: "This is Mitt Womney day?! Hooray!"

Me: "I sure hope so..."

10/30/12:
Boston was casually looking out the van window when suddenly he saw a witch and said, "Woah! That was scary witch! She scared my brains out!"

9/20/12:

Nate (after studying for the GMAT all day): "The left side of my brain literally hurts... is the left side the math side?"

8/30/12:
Nate (to Boston, who was eating a donut): "Did you know that donuts are the number one cause of big bums?"

8/27/12: Boston (during his nightly prayer): "...and bless us to have a fun football season. Bless us to win, and the bad guys to lose. Oh, and bless Mitt Womney will win..."

8/15/12:

Boston: "I want to see Grandma Laurie. But she's too busy. Maybe we can just drive by her house."

8/15/12:

Boston: (alone in the bathroom) "... someone's making farts in here..."

8/6/2012:
Nate: "Being a loser is the only way to be a winner again!"

8/6/2012: I've been nudging Nate towards getting me an iPad for my birthday.
Nate: "The problem is that you'll probably want it with a lot of pomp and circumstance too.... a big surprise, confetti falling from the sky, a parade of marching midgets..."

8/3/2012: Nate and Boston are learning letters while I work. I can only guess how this chant came into existence...

Both: "Focus! Focus! Finish! Finish! (repeat... repeatedly)"

8/1/2012: Nate is trying to get us to eat more healthily.
Nate: "Prepare yourselves because everyone is eating a pound of asparagus tonight!"

6/26/2012: I was getting out the hose to water my plants.
Boston: "Ooo! Can I be the hoser?"

6/15/2012: Boston ran to open the door and held it open for me and Lily (in her stroller).

Me: "Thank you for holding the door, Boston!"

Boston: "Yeah, I'm a softman most days..."

Me: (...thinking) "You mean a gentleman?"

Boston: "Yeah, I'm a gentleman."

6/9/2012 - At bedtime:

Boston: "Is it time for you to go downstairs now?"
Me: "Yes, it is."

Boston: "But I need you to stay!"

Me: "Why do you need me to stay?"
Boston: "Because I love you and you're so cute and precious."

6/7/2012

Me: "Boston, put your shoes on."
Boston:"(audible sigh) It's hard to be a boy."

6/3/2012 - Boston was squirming and wriggling (innocently, but still annoyingly) while I tried to put his clothes on, when he suddenly noticed I wasn't having fun.

Boston: "Mom, are you sad?"
Me: "No, I'm just tired of trying to wrestle you into these clothes. You sometimes make me tired."

Boston: "I'm sorry, Mom. I'll give you a kiss for that."

Then he did :)

6/1/2012 - Boston was playing at my mom's house and eyeing the ditch behind her house.

Grandma: "Boston, the water in the ditch is really low today. It would be ok if you want to just put your feet in it while I watch. (insert the regular "but as a general rule, just stay away from the ditch" rhetoric here)."
Boston: "But it will died me!"

Grandma: "No, it won't. I'll watch you very carefully."

Boston: (pause) "Make Sarah go in first and see if it dieds her."

5/28/2012 - Pertinent background information: Nate is in charge of the dishes at our house.

Me: "Ok, Boston. Here I go to do the dishes. Wish me luck."
Boston: "Wait... I thought girls don't do dishes. Dads do dishes."
Me: "Well, I have today off work, so I'm doing the dishes."
Boston: "That weird..."

5/10/2012 - I think Boston is learning how to drop hints. Today he was singing this (to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"):

"Disney, Disney, Disney Land. Who doesn't love Disney Land?"

4/12/2012 - Nate was watching me crawl behind the dryer (I am smaller, and thus fit better) to re-attach the vent hose thingy that he'd noticed had fallen off earlier in the day.

Nate: "We are so messed up. I just caught myself thinking, "I hope she gets this fixed - I have a batch of laundry I want to dry tonight"."

4/12/2012 - Boston was saying the breakfast prayer, and in it he included, "...and please bless Jesus..."

4/10/2012

Nate: (Teasing Boston)

Boston: "Dad, you a goofball. Go back to work."

4/6/2012 - I caught Boston full-out running and slamming himself into the walls and asked: "What are you doing?"

Boston: "I'm trying to wall jump like Mario."

3/20/2012

Boston: "Dad, I'm playing with Mama today."

Nate: "Who am I playing with today?"

Boston: "You're playing with yourself."

3/17/2012 - Nate will occasionally sing ballads of his own random brainwave creation. Today he was working and I heard him start singing (in what sounded like the tune from My Fair Lady's "Just You Wait" song):
"I-I have a big heart, but a small brain, it's true..."

3/16/2012

Nate: "You are my Lily, my only Lily. You make me happy..."
Boston: "No, she MY Lily! I picked her out. You picked mama out, and I picked Babes out."

3/16/2012

Nate: "I think I'm going to move back into my office. It's just silly to have a room in our house that we don't use."

Me: "No! I'm not ready yet!"

Nate: "She's not coming back. It looks like she's made her decision. I want her to come back as much as you do, but it's time for us to move on."

3/15/2012

Boston: "I really like games."

Me: "Yeah, games are fun."

Boston: "I talkin' to her. (To Erin) I really like games... on phones. Do you have any games on your phone?"

3/12/2012

Boston: "Whew! It's hot out here. We need some of that white stuff."

Nate: (momentarily puzzled) "...Oh! Sunscreen?"
Boston: "Yeah."

3/9/2012

Sarah: "Boston... did you just eat my chapstick?"

Boston: (Pause) "No..."

Sarah: "How did it taste?"
Boston: "Good! Like blueberries!"

3/5/2012 - We were reading scriptures and Nate was trying to make sure Boston understood what we were reading.

Nate: "Do you know what 'righteous' means?"
Boston: "Yes."

Nate: "You do? What does it mean?"

Boston: (doing an almost perfect impression of Crush from Finding Nemo) "Righteous! Righteous!"

3/3/2012

Boston: "Mom, I'm sorry for screaming at you today. You was just bugging me while I was trying to talk to Davey Boy. I not do that again."

3/1/2012 - Our house was in serious need of some love, so we all decided to clean it together.

Nate: "I'll start on the dishes."
Me: "I'll pick up."

Boston: "I'll sing the clean up song."

He's been marching back and forth singing, "Everybody clean up!" as his contribution to the cause.

3/1/2012
Me: "Boston, did you know this is Jessica's last night at our house?"
Boston: "Where she going?"

Me: "She's going to go back and live with Kyle."

Boston: (pause) "Who will live with us then? Grandma or Grandpa or Whitney?"

2/27/2012 - We were reading scriptures and Lehi was in the wilderness.

Nate: "A wilderness is like a desert. Do you know what a desert is?"
Boston: "Yeah! Like World 2 on Seany-poo's game!" (Super Mario Bros for the Wii)
Nate: "Uh... Yeah, actually, that's exactly right."

2/23/2012 - Boston stood up as tall as he could on the arm of the couch while we were talking, and said, "Hey everyone? Hey everyone! Everyone!" until we were all quiet and listening. Then he spread his arms wide and carefully made his speech: "Let's... All... Eat Fwedish Fish Together!" After the proclamation, much applause ensued.

2/23/2012 - I was playing pretend plant-the-garden with Boston when suddenly he stopped, looked at his wrist (he has an imaginary watch), and said, "I'm late! I need to go to the football game. This (he gestures to his imaginary friend) is my friend Jeff Johnson (who is actually Nate's real football friend). Let's go."